Meet the Machines and unemployment?

Well, life has a way of shifting on a dime doesn't it. My company announced Wednesday that it will be reducing it's sales force by 28%. We are to wait home on June 15th for the call saying whether we have been "selected" or "not selected". Funny how they chose those words - why they don't just say "fired? Is it more PC to say "selected"? It still means the same thing - an increase to the unemployment rate. People have been nice to say things like "you're a good worker, they can't afford to let you go", or "well, now you get more time to spend with that sweet little boy of yours". Both of those comments piss me off actually. First, there isn't a doubt in my mind that I could be "selected" just as easily as I can be "not selected". Now, I am trying to be optimistic - but realistic at the same time. I want my job, I want my company to select me, but if I went through the next month thinking that they will choose me, I am going to be DEVASTATED when they don't! It's tough to be positive without setting yourself up for a big crash if it doesn't happen. Yesterday was my worst day so far, where I just couldn't really muster up any Pollyanna type cheer. I am hopeful, but not overly so. I hope that my numbers, title, seniority, are what they are looking for, but those same things could be what sinks me. The thing is, I like my job and I want to choose when to not work anymore, not have it chosen for me. I left a job almost 8 years ago that I despised and now I have one that I like and it might be ending. It might not.......but it might. I won't know a thing until June 15th. And then staying home - not that I don't want to be home with Gavin, but I like working. I like getting out and seeing/talking to other people. I like having the income to do things for our family and for Gavin. I never did think I was a stay-at-home type, I'm not that good at it. My patience is thin and I'm not creative enough to think of things to do each day that don't include a trip to Target and getting a Sweet Tea from McAllisters (I currently do both of those things, but again, I currently have the income to support them). My other issue is that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've always known this wouldn't be a forever job, the industry is too volatile and I really didn't see myself 10 years from now, calling on doc's and schlepping food in for a lunch time conversation. But I figured I'd have time to figure it out, or maybe something awesome would drop in my lap - something I was meant to do! So if I'm not selected, I may need some suggestions on new career paths! I've always said I wished there was a job where I just told people how to do their idea better. A professional fixer. Meaning, someone else would come up with the idea, and then after they'd gone through all the hard work of getting it going, I would swoop in and tell them what was wrong with it and how it could be improved. There are many, many, many times (ask Jon) where I am frustrated at how something is run, built, set up, etc., and all I want to do is tell them how it should have been done. I would do it too, but Jon's often with me and he won't let me say a word and tells me to relax, that it's not my party. If they only knew how much better their _________(fill in blank) would be!! Oh well.

It's been a not great week, but since there really is nothing to do but wait, I thought I'd just ask for prayers. I've mentioned before that I am a big believer in things happen for a reason, so I guess I'll know what was meant to be a month from now. I don't want to look for another job (who does?), but if I have to, then perhaps there is something else out there for me. Yuck, that's all I can say right now. Bummer entry.

But flashing back a bit to April, we took Gavin to "Meet the Machines". Basically a local big equipment company turns an old quarry into a playground full of excavators, dump trucks, cranes, cement mixers, you name it! Each kid gets a free hardhat upon arrival and stickers to put on it, including their name. Unfortunately Gavin was CRABBY that weekend, if he were in a better mood, I know he would have been in seventh heaven. As it was, he still enjoyed playing on all the equipment, but his favorite activity was the huge sand pit with the toy dump trucks. He would have played there all day if he could have!

While Jon parked the car, I TRIED to get a picture of Gavin in his new hardhat. Every time he tipped his head forward so the hat would fall off. This is just before that happens.

Gavin's not smiling - we told him to show us his teeth.

Kids and parents stood in line to go up in the big crane. We opted to sit that one out.

Of everything there, this was his favorite of course!

In the wheel of a HUGE John Deere Tractor! (I think that's a smile - but it might be another teeth flashing - I can't remember)

Steering an excavator type thing.We met Bob the Builder too. Crabby Gavin wanted no part of that either. Sigh.You wouldn't believe how many kids were at the event - can't wait for next year with a less crabby Gavin!

Maybe next year, they'll want a Barb the Builder?