Whirlwind

I don't know why, but October seems to be a whirlwind of time flying by and nothing getting done.  I can't even begin to imagine what life is going to be like once Gavin and Harper are in school!  I have wanted to post about his birthday for a month now (seeing as we celebrated a month ago), but haven't made the time to sit and think.  Gavin's 5th birthday was a fun week - we had lots to do and got to spend time with family and friends to celebrate.  He celebrated with both schools and then we celebrated with Nana, Papa and Aunt Kristin on his birthday at our house, then a few days later with Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Kirk and Garrett at Chuck E. Cheese, and then on Saturday with all of the above plus good friends.  Needless to say, we were caked out by the end of the week.  All of it was very fun though - after all, how many times do you turn 5 years old?  His birthday party with friends turned out great and all the kids had a grand time.  Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Kirk brought a bounce slide (the cool weather changed our original plans from a water slide to just a dry slide, which was probably more fun anyway) and bounce house with them and the kids had so much fun jumping and sliding.  We had to intervene every now and again so they all wouldn't try to climb at the same time and deflate the slide, but overall, the kids were able to jump and slide to their hearts content.  The big surprise was the Ice Cream Man came to the party in his truck and all the kids got to pick their favorite ice cream treat!  Gavin was thrilled - he gets SO excited every time we hear the music I KNEW he would think the truck coming to his party would be awesome.  Hardly anybody ate the cupcakes I had because of the ice cream treats - thus part of the reason we were caked out!  I also let Gavin open the presents as soon as the guests arrived - which I thought at first might have been a mistake.  It's so hard to corral Gavin and get him to sit still and then all the kids crowd around and really don't want to stop playing to watch another kid open present after present, that I thought it would be best to just get it over with.  That way, those that brought the present would get to see Gavin open it and nobody would have to hang out to watch later on.  Unfortunately the first present was a blue pick up truck with lots of sirens and bells and I really thought Gavin wouldn't even join the party after opening that one!  But in the end, I think it was a good decision for him - kept his sensory overload to a minimum and allowed him to enjoy the party and not keep bugging us about the presents.  And people really seemed to know Gavin because he didn't get any clothes but did get some new toys that he plays with on a regular basis.  I was exhausted by the time the week was over, but we sure did have fun!
I've been busy with work too, so that is not helping the whirlwind either.  I am launching a new product and luckily have had some success recently getting people to prescribe, but it's time consuming to follow up and make sure it's not just a one time deal.  I am the only rep in my territory that carries 2 of my products and that makes it hard too - it's hard to be all the places I have to be on a daily/weekly  basis.  Jon is still working those awful retail hours so that makes it hard to feel like you are catching up.  He works most Saturdays so we really don't get a lot accomplished on Saturdays, I'm lucky if the kids and I can get the grocery shopping done and the house picked up, and then Sundays are usually church and spending a little family time together.  He's not overly happy with the situation and I can't say that I am either - the fact is, Saturdays are a bit lonely and long.  I'm glad to spend the time with the kids but when it's your day off, you are hoping to either get things done or visit with friends.  Getting things done is hard with naps and such and friends are having their own family time so they can't really get together and play like we can. 
Jon and I are taking a parenting class "Effective Strategies for Difficult Behaviors" - sounds thrilling doesn't it?  It's actually not too bad once you get past all the hokey, granola, hippie things like "honoring your child's tantrum"... Umm, I'm sorry, what?  We've actually learned some things to start applying at home to hopefully help Gavin get past his "difficult behavior" - namely screaming anytime he hears the word No, is given any directions to do anything or is asked to stop anything he is doing.  And if you've been around any 5 year olds lately, that's pretty much what you talk about on a daily basis.  One thing they pointed out that hit home with me is how we as adults like to have schedules and calendars to keep ourselves organized but yet we expect our kids to just fly through the days never knowing whats coming next and just accept it.  I am one of those people - I have to have a calendar and not just any calendar - I actually search for a specific calendar each year that has only one week displayed on 2 pages and it has to have each day in a column top to bottom (can't do the ones with squares of lines that aren't in columns) and it has to have the times written down the side of each column.... can you see where I'm going with this?  So anyway, Gavin is constantly asking when, how long, what day is it, where am I going, etc.  So NOW we do a schedule each morning where we draw pictures to illustrate what his "chores" are (get dressed, brush teeth, go to school), where he is going to school, who is going to pick him up, when he is going to have play time in his day (this is the most important factor for him), when Mommy comes home, who is taking care of him and Harper when we are not there, etc.  I can honestly say that I think the outbursts are far lessened since we have began drawing his daily schedule.  Crazy and yet not really.  The other tip that I picked up is a book "The Explosive Child", which seems to pretty much describe Gavin to a T.  The thing that got me interested is when it explained the explosive child does not seem bothered or motivated by the typical punishment/reward system.  BINGO!  I was giving Gavin time outs or even spanking his bottom and he would skip out like he'd just been on a Sunday picnic (which really did not help my temper much, I'm afraid).  They also explained that his child would start with a request and when you would respond with a No answer, KABOOM! They would explode - THAT is Gavin.  When things are good, they are very good, but the minute something does not go the way he plans - KABOOM!  So, I ordered the book on my Kindle and it seems to be reasonable but very difficult to implement ALL the time.  But I'm trying.  And if you only knew how much I hate reading any type of self help book, you would know that this is huge for me.  But one thing the book said that was like a thump to my forehead was, if your current methods are doing nothing to change the behavior, then perhaps it's time to change the method because forcing more punishment will do nothing but aggravate the situation further... and then where are you?  The fact of the matter is, Gavin is smart.  Really smart and can often outwit or out memory me which really makes it a challenge to parent him.  I read a funny the other day...

That pretty much sums it up!

As for the rest of us, and by that I mean Harper, things are good as usual.  She continues to delight and be joy filled and happy.  Gavin and her seem to be settling into a good brother/sister relationship which is a delight to see.  She is talking SO much now - one of her favorite words is "Ok" and we ask her to say it about 100 times a day.  One thing about Harper - she gets into EVERYTHING!  Gavin never really bothered things around the house - we put the child proof stuff up, but he never really tested it much.  Harper not only tests it, but figures it out too.  The other day, in the amount of time it took me to help Gavin in the bathroom, she had taken an entire bottle of shampoo and dumped it on the carpet in Gavin's room.  Awesome.  She loves to read books and dance and sing.  Her dancing is one of the highlights of our day - she's got some good foot stomping and bopping up and down going on!  She still eats like a horse and usually eats twice as much as Gavin does and is a master at signing and saying "more".  She climbs on everything and has the scrapes and bruises to prove it.  She is fearless and smiley and smart and kind - all things you hope for in a baby.  And she's a bit of a Mama's girl which secretly makes me a little happy - Gavin never really was and truthfully it's nice to have someone prefer you over all others.  It also makes it hard when you need to leave the house and someone is crying and clinging to your leg, don't get me wrong, but when you come home and she's running to you to pick her up and then just is happy to be held in your arms, well, there's nothing better. 
Here are the pictures - and thanks to Rob for taking the pictures at the party!